In case of emergency
pick the thread out from between your teeth
bite your tongue until it bleeds and
refuse to panic
let the kitchen burn to save the dogs
one foot infront of the other
trip but refuse to fall
in case
of emergency
scream until traffic lights turn red
drop from each balcony like a petal
let the wind carry you to safety
somewhere you can still see the smoke
these hands have not survived broken bones
to shake as our house comes down
spine made of steel it is how you were born
whisper to yourself what a king would
a captain goes down with his ship
but you hate to let lifeboats go to waste
in case of disaster
kick the taillights out
wave with bleeding hands and scream your throat dry
blue tears but you cannot afford blurry sight
life or death and you cannot afford trembling
this anger makes my bones shake apart
grit my teeth and stand my ground
you cannot rip this skin from flesh
tears in my eyes but I refuse to bow
you cannot
rip this soul
from this self
i walk into my room and ask where the rebellion is
picture perfect walls and a four poster bed
peel wallpaper off until you can hear the screams i hid in the walls last night
hang up the ‘do not enter’ signs
and the blaring red STOP
you stole for me a week ago
walk into my room
and ask where the fight is
lift the covers a little
rebellion lives under my skin
dirt under my fingernails; i’ve forgotten how to smile
a snake’s tongue; it is how you spit poison
but I have learnt to wash my mouth out with oil
tease out the venom and spit it back at you
watch as you swallow
smile, and it is with bloody teeth
i have learnt to make myself feral
someone grabs my arm and I twist into a cataclysm
grow my nails out and sharpen these incisors
kick myself free and learn to bite
lungs i have carved into something wilder
eyes that i’ve sharpened with a blunt blade
rip this car’s engine out
just so I can be the loudest thing around
a star appears in the sky each time I bleed
or perhaps this is how i empty myself into space
if this is an emergency
break glass with naked fists
and laugh through the pain
if this (is an ending)
break my heart with heartless lips
dig the dagger a little deeper
and wrap my own fingers around it
kiss me goodbye; steal my words as you go
i don’t want to keep secrets; (just to keep you)
they say ‘can you not hear the alarms’
but my mind has not stopped ringing
since the day i punched a boy
for asking me to lift my skirt
just an inch higher
my mouth still sticky with candy; knuckles coated with blood
the day i spat poison of my own
(and it was me that got in trouble)
last night i took up a blade
tore jagged lines through my hair
hacked at strands until they were no more
make yourself smaller
it is all they can say
in case of an emergency
learn to fold bones and disappear
i was not made to be small
i could bring down the eiffel tower
with bare hands and a cry
so in case the world is ending
or someone has folded you (like luggage)
into the back of a trunk
in case they ask for you to bare yourself
give away more of you than you can
in case this is an emergency
(for yourself)
tell them to go to hell
there is a fire eating away at this house
and you started it.
Photography by: Mafujur Rahman on Unsplash
